Ok, but will this give me superpowers?
This was literally my first thought after being introduced to the concept and science behind neurofeedback. It’s a fair question, too. I mean, if it can train the brain recover from trauma and alleviate the symptoms of numerous mental illnesses, why not introduce a few superpowers as part of the process? The answer, by the way, is an unfortunate no, but neurofeedback therapy can do something even better, give patients back control over their own minds.
To be honest, I had started to give up hope that recovery was possible, and had little faith in this last-ditch attempt at mental health. I was used to my bipolar and had even achieved a small period of stability for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long before an abusive situation left me with horrible anxiety, shattered self-esteem, a broken sense of self, constant nightmares, and persistent flashbacks. Of all the symptoms, the intrinsic flashbacks are, for me, the worst. They have impaired my ability to work, to write, to sleep, and to carry on with my day-to-day life with any sense of normalcy. These flashbacks can be triggered by just about anything – a word or phrase, a feeling, a situation, a location, an action, or even being over-tired. They start by pulling me away from the here and now, like I’m sinking backwards into a thick fog. Then, a flood of emotions too powerful to hold back, or even initially identify, overwhelms me. These aren’t normal emotions, either. They are all consuming feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, anger, sorrow, fear, and devastation that exist beyond reason. It sometimes feels like I am right back to where I was, pleading with whoever will listen to make it stop. These feeling can last for a millisecond or for days. Sometimes I can move on, other times they stop me in my tracks, without warning, preventing me from remaining in the present for any significant length of time.
DC Comics
As with many others, my trauma stems from an abusive situation, one I remained in for far too long. Many domestic abuse victims, myself included, feel trapped and unable to break away from the situation, often due to mental health, familial, or financial reasons. What’s worse is that many abusers are aware of these factors, finding ways to use them against their victims, wearing down their mental health even further and then blaming them for the results. The repercussions of this last long after the relationship ends.
When a person is in a situation like this, it can be hard to recognize the long-term effects at the time. In some cases, victims may have had experiences in their formative years including abandonment, alienation, and abuse, leading them to believe that this type of treatment is love. In others, the gaslighting and abuse begin so slowly and are so effective that the victim’s sense of self is eroded, making it hard to have faith in your ability to escape. Asking and wondering why they stayed or what drew them to the situation in the first place does very little to actually help the situation. In fact, questions like these blame the victim for their abuser’s behaviour, which can intensify the trauma they are already feeling. What does help is removing them from the situation when it is safe to do so, understanding the effects of the trauma, and giving them the tools they need to regain control over their lives, and minds.
Giphy
Neurofeedback therapy is one of the ways those who suffer from numerous mental health illnesses, mental trauma, and physical trauma can regain that control. It works by retraining your brain, reading your brain waves and sending feedback to nudge your brain back on track. Upon first hearing about this type of therapy, I was pretty skeptical. By the time I started, I had been living with flashbacks, nightmares, and hyper-vigilance that left me with constant anxiety for over two years. It seemed unreasonable to expect a non-invasive treatment to simply nudge my brain into functioning properly, especially when so many other treatments had failed.
Once I learned a bit more, I felt slightly more hopeful. The friendly and knowledgeable nature of the intake worker was a huge help, as was the expertise of the first neurofeedback technician I met. She patiently explained the entire process to me, pausing to clarify whenever I looked confused or lost. There are a few different neurofeedback systems in use by clinics that offer this type of therapy. The clinic I attend uses software designed by NeurOptimal, a neurofeedback program designed by clinical psychologists.
On the surface, the process is incredibly simple. Sensors are placed on your ears and scalp to read your brain waves. These sensors are kind of a “read only” gadget, solely there to read and monitor your brain waves, but not to interfere. During the session, you sit back and listen to music while the sensors compare your brain waves to a computer-generated version of a neurotypical brain. Whenever your brain waves stray off course, there is a small, millisecond-long break in the music (think about your 1990s-era discman skipping when you foolishly trusted its anti-shock abilities). This triggers an orientating response from your brain, bringing it back to the present. One of the technicians I met with likened it to daydreaming at work or in class. You may not even be aware that you are daydreaming (i.e. brain waves deviating from expected levels) until someone calls your name or somehow gets your attention (i.e. the skip in the music). Only then do you become aware of the fact that you were daydreaming, the nature and quality of the daydream, and the events that are happening in the here and now.
Tumblr
Since neurofeedback is a non-invasive treatment, there are very few side effects. Some people, myself included, report feeling mentally tired after each session, as though they had tried to complete overly complicated math problems. Others may notice a slight increase in symptoms at first, as your brain begins to recognize when it is straying off course. These effects are normal and diminish over time.
After a few sessions, I feel much more optimistic about my own recovery. The psychiatrist who is supervising my care is an expert when it comes to dealing with trauma, one who understands that healing involves more than just taking an irresponsibly high number of medication. Following her suggestions and having the treatment administered has already helped, and it’s only been three weeks.
Netflix/Marvel
While neurofeedback is effective for a variety of mental health illnesses, such as bipolar, my ultimate goal is recovery from trauma – to once again go anywhere without hyper-vigilance, to sleep through the night without nightmares, to stop enduring intense flashbacks, and to move on without being haunted by the past. Regaining some semblance of control is always the best way to acehive that goal. And if this treatment succeeds where all others have failed, it will give me a superpower. In fact, it has the potential to give me the superpower I want more than anything else: control over my own thoughts.
