It’s the middle of January, and chances are you’ve blown at least a New Year’s resolution or two. And that’s okay, it happens to everyone. When the year is fresh and our minds optimistic, it’s easy to feel overly ambitious about making dramatic changes to your life. After all, it’s a new year with new possibilities, why not resolve to make the biggest, most life-altering changes possible?
Probably because you won’t keep them and that’s discouraging af. Once you’ve skipped gym day a few times or eaten an entire thing of Pringles in one sitting for the third time since January 1st, it can be hard to get back on the resolution bandwagon. Instead of sticking with a resolution you’re probably not going to go back to (or one that you are having an incredibly hard time keeping), why not pick a new one now? Why not pick one that is incredibly easy to keep, requires no money, very little time, and practically no effort, but could still make the world a better place?
Why not resolve to be kind*?
I’ll admit, I’ve been thinking about the concept of kindness since Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor bit us adieu on Christmas. His parting speech, filled will fantastic words of wisdom like “hate is always foolish, and love is always wise,” mentioned kindness twice, and indeed, the idea of being kind was one of the minor themes that carried on throughout his run.
Never be cruel, never be cowardly. And never eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice and never fail to be kind…Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.
From the second episode, where he wondered whether he was a good person, to season 10’s heartbreaking finale where even facing death, he lectured Missy/the Master, kindness has been a recurring concept.
I’m not trying to win. I’m not doing this because I want to beat someone, because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone…I do what I do because it’s right! Because it’s decent! And above all, it’s kind. It’s just that…just kind.
There are so many reasons to focus on kindness in 2018. To begin with, treating people with kindness costs nothing while still having a huge impact on the world. A nice word or gesture can literally turn a person’s day around, helping them feel better, more productive, and encouraging them to practice kindness with others. Kindness can change a person’s mood or bring a sense of levity and comfort to other situations.
The trick is to actively be kind. You can’t half-ass this if you want to adapt it as your resolution. Most people believe they are kind, but what they are is inactive. Sure, you may not seek writers out on the internet to tell them they’re bad and should give up, but have you ever complimented one who wrote something affecting? People don’t always cut other drivers off when on the road, but how often do they allow another driver in their lane? It is one thing to passively not be a dick, but another to actively be kind.
There are countless ways you can practice active kindness in your own life, without almost any effort or cost at all:
-
- Refrain from engaging in troll-like behaviours (no one needs to disparage a woman in the comments of an article simply because she wrote it, nor do people need to tag an author just because they hated his work)
- Hold open doors (for everyone)
- Treat everyone with respect and dignity
- Offer compliments
- Be appreciative
- Work on your own sense of empathy; acknowledge your shortcomings and determine a way to overcome them
- Practice empathy on a daily basis (putting yourself in someone else’s shoes when you are tempted to behave in an unkind way sometimes makes a difference)
- If someone has worked hard on something, thank them and acknowledge their work
- Be sensitive to their sensitivities (e.g., if you have a friend who has been victimized by something, be understanding if they lash out at others defending those acts; if you have a friend who is afraid of snakes, don’t throw one at them; if your friend was deeply affected by a Game of Thrones episode last season, don’t mock them by saying nothing but “Hodor” when they call, etc.)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should collectively stop holding others accountable for their actions. Not am I saying we should accommodate those who have done horrible things to us in the past. What I am saying is that in most circumstances, exercising a little kindness can go a long way.
www.lunarbaboon.com
Kindness isn’t revolutionary. It won’t solve the global issues facing us all. There’s no guarantee that it can make you healthier or happier, but it is a start; it’s a small gesture that can make a big difference if done enough. If we all resolved to be kind, perhaps we could even change the world. Until then, let’s resolve to treat each other better. Hold open a door, compliment a stranger’s hat, offer thanks when appropriate and apologies when needed, keep hurtful or hateful words to yourself unless there is a legitimate good reason to say otherwise, defend that stranger on the internet from the troll with the bad grammar and even worse talking points. Just…be kind.
*Ed note: Kindness does not apply to harassers, abusers, assailants, people who have taken advantage of your kindness before without appreciation, thanks or apology, individuals who have caused serious harm/hurt/trauma, bigots, people who actively take away the rights of others, and Nazis. Go ahead and give all those jerks hell.
